Pay it Backwards

The cold enters my body through my ripped fashionable jeans
I bounce back and forth on my thin heels to warm up
Quivering I stand supportively beside you

And your black curls blow wildly in the wind
Your awkwardly big jacket looks lovely on you.
You excitedly pitch your slogan to strangers but they simply pass you by.

You chase after them still campaigning, but your pleas fall onto deaf ears.
You don’t give up as you continue to spread the word on random acts of kindness
Why does watching you like this give me a secret sense of satisfaction?

Is it because I see your vulnerable side as you’ve exposed mine?
Witness that you are capable of passion even if it’s not towards me?
See you stung by the cruelty of rejection?

No.
It’s simple --
I honestly just love you.

And I want to stand beside you
Even in difficult moments
To secretly watch you and be filled with pride and admiration.

Eternal Light

This empty gloomy abyss
Perhaps tolerable if it consisted of nothing but dark silence

Instead it tugs at my heart and my soul with a thunderous roar
Making my whole being shake in waves of anxiety and dread

What is missing?

I yearn for that natural contentment
Which only belongs to the young and pure hearted

A connection with the One.

I pray, my arms extended, weeping:
“Oh God, please disregard my fruitless wishes. For if all thousand of them were hereby granted it would not bring me the happiness that I so long for. I repent and I ask for one thing: Take me into thee and fill me up with your light.”

One love, one pure love is all I need, and it’s His.
From him I came and to him I return.

Agbekor

Everything fades as their eyes meet and lock
Colorful flowers rapidly grow and bloom on the surrounding murky walls
The dark ceiling opens up into an infinite blue sky with tropical birds spread across it
The gloomy musky space is suddenly transformed into a bountiful garden oasis

They turn their bodies to face each other and in unison they take a step toward one another closing the gap between them
She stops breathing in an attempt to calm her heartbeat that pounds against her chest violently

His deep brown eyes pierce into her leaving her vulnerable and open
An inner war ensues between her sense of urgency and her hesitance
When her soft pink lips part automatically, she knows which feeling has triumphed
Without any warning he lifts his arms and takes her into him

The room is twirling now, in small circles, as she breaths in his scent
She embraces the experience --faster and faster she goes, almost dancing as the room twirls in circles around her
Music plays somewhere in the deep corners of her mind

She spins and spins in waves of ecstasy, falling, deeper and deeper, feeling dizzy with joy
She wants to laugh hysterically, to yell at the top of her lungs, to jump up and down and shake her head in a frenzy
Instead she uses all her might to mask her feelings and to stand still, in that moment, which will forever be entrenched in her mind

Love is my ammunition

Somehow, the last time we made love,
I intuitively knew it would be our final time;
I pulled you close, cheek to cheek,
wrapped my legs around you,
trembled as I felt you inside me;

I put a loving hand behind your head,
smelled you, kissed you, and
floated to the top of the room and
saw us encircled together;

I was present, aware, and in the moment.
I stored that memory in the deep layers of my mind,
but you, you were, as always,
simply oblivious.

And now when you taunt me,
when my heart aches with pain, and
I feel all-alone, and I miss you dearly,
I draw upon that moment.

I let love wash away my anger, jealousy and bitterness.
I see the humor in your games,
smile at your childishness, and
I refuse; refuse to hate you.

I hold on; hold on to love,
because it nourishes my soul and
it gives me the greatest high.

If you should one day again
have the fortune to look into my eyes,
you will not see the soul of an ice queen
you expectedly seek.

Instead my ancient soul will grab you, and
throw you against the tides of love and the currents of wisdom.
And you will come face to face,
with a Warrior of Love.

A LONELY CITY

I roam around like a grey ghost
Trying to conceal my yellow eyes

When the tears come strolling down
I smile to confuse the passerbies

I am planting soft kisses on his neck
As I look up and stare into his big brown eyes

I blink and blink and try to shake my illusive thoughts
The lump in my throat beats me down

I slip in and out of my memories as each day goes by
Intertwined in who I was and what is left of me now.

Goddess

I’ve not had the privilege of laying eyes on her,
Of connecting the wrinkles on her face, like an atlas, with corresponding life journeys,
Each line representing a birth, a death, laughter, sadness, joy, sorrow and solitude.

I have not had the fortune of embracing her petite figure
Of taking-in her enchanting scent; a mixture of spices and lilies
And transfusing my aura with hers

I have not had the opportunity to hold her worn fragile hands in mine
To thank her for her years of servitude, cooking, cleaning, sewing, and petting.
Hands I yearn to bring to my lips and kiss gently.

Her beauty radiates like rays of sunshine on shimmery waters
Her mystery engulfs me like an omnipotent spell
And her story penetrates through my layers of ego

Sleepless nights fretting about how to provide
Endless days swallowing the lump in her throat and putting on a brave face
A lifetime of raising curious, mischievous boys single-handedly.

All the while she caught a glimmer or two of her beloved in them
Powerful blows that threw her back in time
And yet energized her and reminded her of her mission.

Her hard work is coming to fruition
Her boy is at the gate of manhood
And I am on the other end beckoning him

There may be struggles but there will be no battle
When I see you, I see the infinite potential for reaching
My own depths and heights of womanhood

I am at your feet quivering with love and tenderness
and soaring with elation and pride.
For in you I see the female face of God