Don’t go out there today
Stay in the comfort of your room
The waves threaten to be high and ferocious
Too bad you can’t afford that luxury
Put on a brave smile, shrug it off, scent yourself
But beware it could be fatally dangerous
In the middle of your day
When you least expect it
It will hit you
Here it comes
Brace yourself
Your eyes are droopy
Your mouth is curved downwards
Your hands are submissive
Don’t struggle
You will sink quicker
Don’t plug your nose
It will only cut off the oxygen sooner
Wait for it
Here it comes
A big wave of dread and anxiety
Leaving you paralyzed
Just let it take you
If you’re lucky
It may release you
And carry you back to the top
Where you’ll float for a little while
Before the next wave comes.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
In order to exprience this poem at its best, I highly recommend that you please pause, click on the link below, put on the following music in the background and then read on:
straight to number one
Tuesday
Pull my hair
Yank my shirt
Order me to kiss you
Swing me around
Slap me
Bite me
Poke me
Own me
Demolish me
into little pieces
Burn me
Crystallize me
into one of your possessions
Thursday
Look into my eyes
Pull me close against your chest
Until our hearts beat as one
Trust that I will
Kiss your tears away
Whisper sweet words in my ear
Light the flame of love inside me
Its warmth shelters us both from the unknown
I’m lost in you and you in me
Until we find ourselves in the other
One Night,
Walk through a narrow street in Paris
Where the scattered street lamps and rain drops make the pavements glow
And stop upon a rustic apartment with a window pan of purple flowers
Come inside and find me
My hair in wild curls strewn around me due to the humidity
My skin soft and moist-
My lips red from the wine
See me, pause and really see me, see through me, inside me
Touch me
Slowly
Remind me
Of your scent so intoxicating
Your tongue so curious
Your body so strong
Your love so warm and tender
Make me tremble in your embrace
Run your hands down my long legs
And remind me
Of that Tuesday long ago
When I experienced lust at its most fervent peak
Or the Thursday
When I felt love in all its glory
Let love and lust combine in an explosive passion
Put me under your spell
And make me so high that I once again feel connected
With the earth, God, the streets of Paris, with you,
With myself.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Shayla, this one's for you
On this dreary day:
Even the yellow leaves on my office plant give up,
And plunge to their untimely death on my carpet,
Making me look like a careless murderer.
The Toronto hydro generator hums its last breath,
And shuts off power to the entire business city block,
Whispering it’s last fuck you to the elite for making it work so hard.
My co-workers huddle into my office lacking any feelings of nostalgia over the unusual event. The only excitement they voice is for having pressed save on their computers. I suggest we hold hands and sing kumbaya but they lazily yawn and role their eyes at me. A silly girl dismissed.
My last phone call is wasted when Teo calls to complain about her ungrateful boss who is making her conduct banking during her lunch hour-- any sense of commonality is lost between us as the sound of her voice is drowned against a loud announcement: “The police have been called. Please leave the bank immediately”. An employee accidently tripped over the alarm!
I stand tall on the furnace in my office in my high heeled boots,
And look out at the city underneath me from the floor to ceiling glass windows,
I spread my arms and contemplate what it would feel like to fly before I hit the concrete.
I pause,
I smile and
I thank God.
Today is a dreary day,
but hey-
at least I’m not:
Sad enough to let go of my claws dug firmly into life,
Mad enough to quit just to screw them,
Tainted enough to waste unique opportunities,
Dumb enough to set off an alarm, or
Dull enough not to contemplate ways to fly.
Even the yellow leaves on my office plant give up,
And plunge to their untimely death on my carpet,
Making me look like a careless murderer.
The Toronto hydro generator hums its last breath,
And shuts off power to the entire business city block,
Whispering it’s last fuck you to the elite for making it work so hard.
My co-workers huddle into my office lacking any feelings of nostalgia over the unusual event. The only excitement they voice is for having pressed save on their computers. I suggest we hold hands and sing kumbaya but they lazily yawn and role their eyes at me. A silly girl dismissed.
My last phone call is wasted when Teo calls to complain about her ungrateful boss who is making her conduct banking during her lunch hour-- any sense of commonality is lost between us as the sound of her voice is drowned against a loud announcement: “The police have been called. Please leave the bank immediately”. An employee accidently tripped over the alarm!
I stand tall on the furnace in my office in my high heeled boots,
And look out at the city underneath me from the floor to ceiling glass windows,
I spread my arms and contemplate what it would feel like to fly before I hit the concrete.
I pause,
I smile and
I thank God.
Today is a dreary day,
but hey-
at least I’m not:
Sad enough to let go of my claws dug firmly into life,
Mad enough to quit just to screw them,
Tainted enough to waste unique opportunities,
Dumb enough to set off an alarm, or
Dull enough not to contemplate ways to fly.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
HOPE
She lays by the dock with an old friend
and whispers about the boy she loves
the wind picks up and blows harder and harder around them
ripples grow in the smooth lake water
the trees rustle and the sky darkens.
She jumps up barefoot and runs to the other side of the camp grounds
She excitedly climbs the deck where she can see the lake below and
the dark clouds that are approaching from a distance
"Look it's coming!" she points to the depressing dark bubble in the middle of the sky.
Her friend gives her a peculiar look and disappears inside the camp hostel
She stands at the edge of the dock and expectantly waits
Glad that the universe has read her mood
And mirrored her fury and anguish in a show of unity
She looks to her right and in the horizon she sees a ray of light amidst the clouds
she reads it as a promise from the cosmos that a window of hope will remain always
In the meantime, she prepares for the worst
tilts her head back and spreads her arms
she hears the rhythmic rhythm of the rain march forward like a fury army
When she feels the first drop of rain on her skin
she closes her eyes and smiles wide feeling liberated
her hair flies around her and goosebumps form on her body
The slow rain quickly speeds up
The pouring rain turns into hard stinging pallets.
She twirls and twirls in the rain
letting it beat the pain out of her.
She shrieks in amusement
and from the shock of the coldness
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
She stomps her withered feet and
Her black summer dress feels heavy in the soaking wet
All of a sudden he picks her up
puts his warm mouth on hers and twirls with her
She feels brave now, heads toward the lake
all the while shivering and shaking
She walks slowly into the water
until it almost covers her entire height
He follows her into the lake
and they embrace in frosty waters
"This it it" she thinks
this is our last goodbye
Tears and rain intermingle and stream down her face
and get lost in the lake
She feels like drowning herself
as the end of a chapter has drawn near
Then she remembers the light in the midst of the clouds on the horizon
and she feels ever so connected to the universe
for she knows that it has conspired to teach her
that her stormy world will once again be filled with light.
She understands that for now, all she has to do is feel the stinging cold rain
and suffer from an aching heart, rather to cower and hide
she must take risks and plunge
because that is what makes her feel ALIVE.
and whispers about the boy she loves
the wind picks up and blows harder and harder around them
ripples grow in the smooth lake water
the trees rustle and the sky darkens.
She jumps up barefoot and runs to the other side of the camp grounds
She excitedly climbs the deck where she can see the lake below and
the dark clouds that are approaching from a distance
"Look it's coming!" she points to the depressing dark bubble in the middle of the sky.
Her friend gives her a peculiar look and disappears inside the camp hostel
She stands at the edge of the dock and expectantly waits
Glad that the universe has read her mood
And mirrored her fury and anguish in a show of unity
She looks to her right and in the horizon she sees a ray of light amidst the clouds
she reads it as a promise from the cosmos that a window of hope will remain always
In the meantime, she prepares for the worst
tilts her head back and spreads her arms
she hears the rhythmic rhythm of the rain march forward like a fury army
When she feels the first drop of rain on her skin
she closes her eyes and smiles wide feeling liberated
her hair flies around her and goosebumps form on her body
The slow rain quickly speeds up
The pouring rain turns into hard stinging pallets.
She twirls and twirls in the rain
letting it beat the pain out of her.
She shrieks in amusement
and from the shock of the coldness
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
She stomps her withered feet and
Her black summer dress feels heavy in the soaking wet
All of a sudden he picks her up
puts his warm mouth on hers and twirls with her
She feels brave now, heads toward the lake
all the while shivering and shaking
She walks slowly into the water
until it almost covers her entire height
He follows her into the lake
and they embrace in frosty waters
"This it it" she thinks
this is our last goodbye
Tears and rain intermingle and stream down her face
and get lost in the lake
She feels like drowning herself
as the end of a chapter has drawn near
Then she remembers the light in the midst of the clouds on the horizon
and she feels ever so connected to the universe
for she knows that it has conspired to teach her
that her stormy world will once again be filled with light.
She understands that for now, all she has to do is feel the stinging cold rain
and suffer from an aching heart, rather to cower and hide
she must take risks and plunge
because that is what makes her feel ALIVE.
Nobody but me
I sit here and weep
tears falling on my fingertips,
face scrunched-up like a helpless baby
I sob and sob
I pause and I stare at my reflection on the monitor
what the hell is wrong with you Mona?
Take two deep breaths
shake my head
pound my fist against my chest
I moan and groan
I long for a hard chest
upon which to bury my face
and cry harder
No one appears.
Still darkness
My sad mouth turns on the sides
until it forms into a small smile
I rock back and forth
Laugh and laugh
pound my fist on the table
my grief turned into glee momentarily
I pause and turn my head side to side
look around and long for someone
to have witnessed my hysteria
and to smile back at me
No one appears.
Still darkness.
tears falling on my fingertips,
face scrunched-up like a helpless baby
I sob and sob
I pause and I stare at my reflection on the monitor
what the hell is wrong with you Mona?
Take two deep breaths
shake my head
pound my fist against my chest
I moan and groan
I long for a hard chest
upon which to bury my face
and cry harder
No one appears.
Still darkness
My sad mouth turns on the sides
until it forms into a small smile
I rock back and forth
Laugh and laugh
pound my fist on the table
my grief turned into glee momentarily
I pause and turn my head side to side
look around and long for someone
to have witnessed my hysteria
and to smile back at me
No one appears.
Still darkness.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Pay it Backwards
The cold enters my body through my ripped fashionable jeans
I bounce back and forth on my thin heels to warm up
Quivering I stand supportively beside you
And your black curls blow wildly in the wind
Your awkwardly big jacket looks lovely on you.
You excitedly pitch your slogan to strangers but they simply pass you by.
You chase after them still campaigning, but your pleas fall onto deaf ears.
You don’t give up as you continue to spread the word on random acts of kindness
Why does watching you like this give me a secret sense of satisfaction?
Is it because I see your vulnerable side as you’ve exposed mine?
Witness that you are capable of passion even if it’s not towards me?
See you stung by the cruelty of rejection?
No.
It’s simple --
I honestly just love you.
And I want to stand beside you
Even in difficult moments
To secretly watch you and be filled with pride and admiration.
I bounce back and forth on my thin heels to warm up
Quivering I stand supportively beside you
And your black curls blow wildly in the wind
Your awkwardly big jacket looks lovely on you.
You excitedly pitch your slogan to strangers but they simply pass you by.
You chase after them still campaigning, but your pleas fall onto deaf ears.
You don’t give up as you continue to spread the word on random acts of kindness
Why does watching you like this give me a secret sense of satisfaction?
Is it because I see your vulnerable side as you’ve exposed mine?
Witness that you are capable of passion even if it’s not towards me?
See you stung by the cruelty of rejection?
No.
It’s simple --
I honestly just love you.
And I want to stand beside you
Even in difficult moments
To secretly watch you and be filled with pride and admiration.
Eternal Light
This empty gloomy abyss
Perhaps tolerable if it consisted of nothing but dark silence
Instead it tugs at my heart and my soul with a thunderous roar
Making my whole being shake in waves of anxiety and dread
What is missing?
I yearn for that natural contentment
Which only belongs to the young and pure hearted
A connection with the One.
I pray, my arms extended, weeping:
“Oh God, please disregard my fruitless wishes. For if all thousand of them were hereby granted it would not bring me the happiness that I so long for. I repent and I ask for one thing: Take me into thee and fill me up with your light.”
One love, one pure love is all I need, and it’s His.
From him I came and to him I return.
Perhaps tolerable if it consisted of nothing but dark silence
Instead it tugs at my heart and my soul with a thunderous roar
Making my whole being shake in waves of anxiety and dread
What is missing?
I yearn for that natural contentment
Which only belongs to the young and pure hearted
A connection with the One.
I pray, my arms extended, weeping:
“Oh God, please disregard my fruitless wishes. For if all thousand of them were hereby granted it would not bring me the happiness that I so long for. I repent and I ask for one thing: Take me into thee and fill me up with your light.”
One love, one pure love is all I need, and it’s His.
From him I came and to him I return.
Agbekor
Everything fades as their eyes meet and lock
Colorful flowers rapidly grow and bloom on the surrounding murky walls
The dark ceiling opens up into an infinite blue sky with tropical birds spread across it
The gloomy musky space is suddenly transformed into a bountiful garden oasis
They turn their bodies to face each other and in unison they take a step toward one another closing the gap between them
She stops breathing in an attempt to calm her heartbeat that pounds against her chest violently
His deep brown eyes pierce into her leaving her vulnerable and open
An inner war ensues between her sense of urgency and her hesitance
When her soft pink lips part automatically, she knows which feeling has triumphed
Without any warning he lifts his arms and takes her into him
The room is twirling now, in small circles, as she breaths in his scent
She embraces the experience --faster and faster she goes, almost dancing as the room twirls in circles around her
Music plays somewhere in the deep corners of her mind
She spins and spins in waves of ecstasy, falling, deeper and deeper, feeling dizzy with joy
She wants to laugh hysterically, to yell at the top of her lungs, to jump up and down and shake her head in a frenzy
Instead she uses all her might to mask her feelings and to stand still, in that moment, which will forever be entrenched in her mind
Colorful flowers rapidly grow and bloom on the surrounding murky walls
The dark ceiling opens up into an infinite blue sky with tropical birds spread across it
The gloomy musky space is suddenly transformed into a bountiful garden oasis
They turn their bodies to face each other and in unison they take a step toward one another closing the gap between them
She stops breathing in an attempt to calm her heartbeat that pounds against her chest violently
His deep brown eyes pierce into her leaving her vulnerable and open
An inner war ensues between her sense of urgency and her hesitance
When her soft pink lips part automatically, she knows which feeling has triumphed
Without any warning he lifts his arms and takes her into him
The room is twirling now, in small circles, as she breaths in his scent
She embraces the experience --faster and faster she goes, almost dancing as the room twirls in circles around her
Music plays somewhere in the deep corners of her mind
She spins and spins in waves of ecstasy, falling, deeper and deeper, feeling dizzy with joy
She wants to laugh hysterically, to yell at the top of her lungs, to jump up and down and shake her head in a frenzy
Instead she uses all her might to mask her feelings and to stand still, in that moment, which will forever be entrenched in her mind
Love is my ammunition
Somehow, the last time we made love,
I intuitively knew it would be our final time;
I pulled you close, cheek to cheek,
wrapped my legs around you,
trembled as I felt you inside me;
I put a loving hand behind your head,
smelled you, kissed you, and
floated to the top of the room and
saw us encircled together;
I was present, aware, and in the moment.
I stored that memory in the deep layers of my mind,
but you, you were, as always,
simply oblivious.
And now when you taunt me,
when my heart aches with pain, and
I feel all-alone, and I miss you dearly,
I draw upon that moment.
I let love wash away my anger, jealousy and bitterness.
I see the humor in your games,
smile at your childishness, and
I refuse; refuse to hate you.
I hold on; hold on to love,
because it nourishes my soul and
it gives me the greatest high.
If you should one day again
have the fortune to look into my eyes,
you will not see the soul of an ice queen
you expectedly seek.
Instead my ancient soul will grab you, and
throw you against the tides of love and the currents of wisdom.
And you will come face to face,
with a Warrior of Love.
I intuitively knew it would be our final time;
I pulled you close, cheek to cheek,
wrapped my legs around you,
trembled as I felt you inside me;
I put a loving hand behind your head,
smelled you, kissed you, and
floated to the top of the room and
saw us encircled together;
I was present, aware, and in the moment.
I stored that memory in the deep layers of my mind,
but you, you were, as always,
simply oblivious.
And now when you taunt me,
when my heart aches with pain, and
I feel all-alone, and I miss you dearly,
I draw upon that moment.
I let love wash away my anger, jealousy and bitterness.
I see the humor in your games,
smile at your childishness, and
I refuse; refuse to hate you.
I hold on; hold on to love,
because it nourishes my soul and
it gives me the greatest high.
If you should one day again
have the fortune to look into my eyes,
you will not see the soul of an ice queen
you expectedly seek.
Instead my ancient soul will grab you, and
throw you against the tides of love and the currents of wisdom.
And you will come face to face,
with a Warrior of Love.
A LONELY CITY
I roam around like a grey ghost
Trying to conceal my yellow eyes
When the tears come strolling down
I smile to confuse the passerbies
I am planting soft kisses on his neck
As I look up and stare into his big brown eyes
I blink and blink and try to shake my illusive thoughts
The lump in my throat beats me down
I slip in and out of my memories as each day goes by
Intertwined in who I was and what is left of me now.
Trying to conceal my yellow eyes
When the tears come strolling down
I smile to confuse the passerbies
I am planting soft kisses on his neck
As I look up and stare into his big brown eyes
I blink and blink and try to shake my illusive thoughts
The lump in my throat beats me down
I slip in and out of my memories as each day goes by
Intertwined in who I was and what is left of me now.
Goddess
I’ve not had the privilege of laying eyes on her,
Of connecting the wrinkles on her face, like an atlas, with corresponding life journeys,
Each line representing a birth, a death, laughter, sadness, joy, sorrow and solitude.
I have not had the fortune of embracing her petite figure
Of taking-in her enchanting scent; a mixture of spices and lilies
And transfusing my aura with hers
I have not had the opportunity to hold her worn fragile hands in mine
To thank her for her years of servitude, cooking, cleaning, sewing, and petting.
Hands I yearn to bring to my lips and kiss gently.
Her beauty radiates like rays of sunshine on shimmery waters
Her mystery engulfs me like an omnipotent spell
And her story penetrates through my layers of ego
Sleepless nights fretting about how to provide
Endless days swallowing the lump in her throat and putting on a brave face
A lifetime of raising curious, mischievous boys single-handedly.
All the while she caught a glimmer or two of her beloved in them
Powerful blows that threw her back in time
And yet energized her and reminded her of her mission.
Her hard work is coming to fruition
Her boy is at the gate of manhood
And I am on the other end beckoning him
There may be struggles but there will be no battle
When I see you, I see the infinite potential for reaching
My own depths and heights of womanhood
I am at your feet quivering with love and tenderness
and soaring with elation and pride.
For in you I see the female face of God
Of connecting the wrinkles on her face, like an atlas, with corresponding life journeys,
Each line representing a birth, a death, laughter, sadness, joy, sorrow and solitude.
I have not had the fortune of embracing her petite figure
Of taking-in her enchanting scent; a mixture of spices and lilies
And transfusing my aura with hers
I have not had the opportunity to hold her worn fragile hands in mine
To thank her for her years of servitude, cooking, cleaning, sewing, and petting.
Hands I yearn to bring to my lips and kiss gently.
Her beauty radiates like rays of sunshine on shimmery waters
Her mystery engulfs me like an omnipotent spell
And her story penetrates through my layers of ego
Sleepless nights fretting about how to provide
Endless days swallowing the lump in her throat and putting on a brave face
A lifetime of raising curious, mischievous boys single-handedly.
All the while she caught a glimmer or two of her beloved in them
Powerful blows that threw her back in time
And yet energized her and reminded her of her mission.
Her hard work is coming to fruition
Her boy is at the gate of manhood
And I am on the other end beckoning him
There may be struggles but there will be no battle
When I see you, I see the infinite potential for reaching
My own depths and heights of womanhood
I am at your feet quivering with love and tenderness
and soaring with elation and pride.
For in you I see the female face of God
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