HOPE

She lays by the dock with an old friend
and whispers about the boy she loves
the wind picks up and blows harder and harder around them
ripples grow in the smooth lake water
the trees rustle and the sky darkens.

She jumps up barefoot and runs to the other side of the camp grounds
She excitedly climbs the deck where she can see the lake below and
the dark clouds that are approaching from a distance
"Look it's coming!" she points to the depressing dark bubble in the middle of the sky.

Her friend gives her a peculiar look and disappears inside the camp hostel
She stands at the edge of the dock and expectantly waits
Glad that the universe has read her mood
And mirrored her fury and anguish in a show of unity

She looks to her right and in the horizon she sees a ray of light amidst the clouds
she reads it as a promise from the cosmos that a window of hope will remain always
In the meantime, she prepares for the worst
tilts her head back and spreads her arms
she hears the rhythmic rhythm of the rain march forward like a fury army

When she feels the first drop of rain on her skin
she closes her eyes and smiles wide feeling liberated
her hair flies around her and goosebumps form on her body
The slow rain quickly speeds up
The pouring rain turns into hard stinging pallets.

She twirls and twirls in the rain
letting it beat the pain out of her.
She shrieks in amusement
and from the shock of the coldness

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
She stomps her withered feet and
Her black summer dress feels heavy in the soaking wet
All of a sudden he picks her up
puts his warm mouth on hers and twirls with her

She feels brave now, heads toward the lake
all the while shivering and shaking
She walks slowly into the water
until it almost covers her entire height

He follows her into the lake
and they embrace in frosty waters
"This it it" she thinks
this is our last goodbye

Tears and rain intermingle and stream down her face
and get lost in the lake
She feels like drowning herself
as the end of a chapter has drawn near

Then she remembers the light in the midst of the clouds on the horizon
and she feels ever so connected to the universe
for she knows that it has conspired to teach her
that her stormy world will once again be filled with light.

She understands that for now, all she has to do is feel the stinging cold rain
and suffer from an aching heart, rather to cower and hide
she must take risks and plunge
because that is what makes her feel ALIVE.

Nobody but me

I sit here and weep
tears falling on my fingertips,
face scrunched-up like a helpless baby
I sob and sob
I pause and I stare at my reflection on the monitor
what the hell is wrong with you Mona?
Take two deep breaths
shake my head
pound my fist against my chest
I moan and groan
I long for a hard chest
upon which to bury my face
and cry harder

No one appears.
Still darkness

My sad mouth turns on the sides
until it forms into a small smile
I rock back and forth
Laugh and laugh
pound my fist on the table
my grief turned into glee momentarily
I pause and turn my head side to side
look around and long for someone
to have witnessed my hysteria
and to smile back at me

No one appears.
Still darkness.