Meeting the Meastro- Gailon

Paolo guides me down the pavement from the mountain-top until we take a turn into a hidden trail amongst trees and bushes. It is pitch black save for the low light emanating from the flashlight in Paolo’s hands and I struggle to see ahead. Steep slippery rocks laid in the formation of steps beneath our feet lead a narrow path to the cabin where the Maestro, Paolo and Yolanda reside.

I’m afraid of all that is around me - the darkness, my shaky legs that may give in and send me tumbling down to my death, facing the unknown, even the sound of the wild animals. Once we reach the wood cabin, Paolo quietly opens the door and ushers me inside. To my left is a little area dimly lit by a lamp. A small wooden chair covered with cushions awaits me across from where the Maestro sits. Paolo disappears into the darkness of the house and leaves me alone with him. I take my seat. A small hello is all I manage to whimper out.

The Maestro does not respond. He simply nods his head and stares into my eyes. I stare back at him. He lifts his palms in prayer position and with a gentle swaying of his head he ushers for me to do the same. I lift my palms, while maintaining eye contact with him. Then we turn the palms of our hands toward one another. We open and close the space between our hands and continue to stare at each other in this bizarre fashion for some time.

He is extremely skinny with long limbs. His shoulder-length hair and loose attire make him look like an old hippie. He speaks “that’s that and this is this. Do you want that or do you want this?”

Huh?!? What the hell is he talking about? I think to myself, but I do not respond.

Time passes. He breaks the silence again: “Who are you? Are you Mona, or are you this?”

I miss my mom. I try to conjure up her face.

He removes his glasses. His icy blue eyes are captivating and capture my full attention. I continue to stare into them. Now I feel naked and vulnerable. Some more time passes.

I drift back into my memories. It was a good night with Alicia, Teo and Shayla when we ate Thai food at our usual spot and exchanged our aspirations. They seemed genuinely proud of me when I told them that I was about to embark on this journey. How silly I would feel if they knew what was going on now.

Growing rather frustrated, and feeling extremely exhausted I wonder how long must we stare at each other like this? Can he see the pain in my eyes? Does he understand the ache in my heart?

We continue to move our hands around in slow motion and stare into each other’s eyes.

Is something supposed to happen? Nothing happens. Feeling defeated, I give up, and burst into tears about how absolutely ridiculous I feel for being in the room with him, especially given the trials and tribulations I’ve faced to get here. Images of my lost romace flash before me and can't wait to go back to the the dark cold temple and smother my wails and cries of horror into a pillow.

He continues staring into my eyes and moves his hands around in flowy movements. He even sways his head side to side and makes dreamy faces. Is he mocking me? I follow along, feeling stupid, tears dripping down my face.

I deflate and release myself from of all my thoughts and emotions for they are too painful. All of a sudden I feel a hot powerful surge of energy between my hands. I expand and condense the energy and I whisper in a smile“I feel it!”

He tries not to smile, but I can see that he is delighted. I continue to play with the energy and stare at him. His face begins to rapidly change. I see the face of an old woman, an Indian Chief and a Neanderthal. My mouth opens half way as I am dumbfounded and in total awe.

“Do you understand…hmmm?!” He asks, proudly.

I nod my head to keep it going.

“That’s that and this is this. Now where do you want to be?”

I can’t speak, and I’m not sure if he expects an answer. I look down at his hands trying to figure out what is going on. “Look at me”, he commands.

I look back at him. I can’t let go of the gaze. I feel his power as he holds me there in a lock.

“You like?!” His mouth is curving into a smile again but he is trying to contain it.

I bubble my head up and down like a satisfied donkey.

We sit there in that state for almost two hours until it is time for me to leave. Paolo accompanies me back to my temple. “Tomorrow, you will come and go to the cabin on your own, ok? See you in the morning”. She walks off into the darkness and I know that I will too the next day, despite my phobias.

Feeling calm and high I walk in, head straight to the bedroom in which I had decided I would never sleep, I crawl into the bed, close my eyes, smile, and sleep like a baby.